The wolf is my spirit animal. Any opportunity to engage a
live wolf up-close, erases all common sense, thoughts of others. I’d joined the
Wilderness Rangers in hopes of an opportunity like the one facing me today,
across a tree-ringed meadow.
I’d spotted the wolf when our group arrived at a small
hut used for warmth in winter and getting out of the rain during other seasons.
While my companions ate lunch and socialized, I’d headed around the edge of the
meadow, hoping to secure a clear view of the wolf. And, I did. What a magnificent specimen she
was, face fur whiter than new snow, ears appeared soft like down, twitching as
my movements snapped a twig. But she stayed, no fear in those eyes that located
mine, just a steady, knowing depth.
“Exquisite beast, No?” The voice, just off my right
shoulder, startles me.
“Oh, I thought I was alone.” I blush when I see the male
equivalent of a wolf next to me, his face softened by a short beard, curly hair
closely cropped, his blue-gray eyes mesmerizing.
I quickly turn back to the wolf in the meadow. “He’s not
a beast, you know. Wolves are intelligent creatures. Perhaps more than humans.”
He laughs, then, a patronizing yet friendly chuckle. “Ah,
so you are ‘friend of wolves’ now?”
“Do I know you?” I look more closely at his face but find
nothing familiar.
“I observed you at the hiking club meeting last week.”
“But you aren’t with the group today?” The vibes from him
are not as comfortable as I’d like, but if he was a late arriver to the group
I’d joined for today’s hike, I could calm my anxiety.
“Alas, no. I was too late to join.” He smiles, and I
notice him peering over my shoulder toward where that group waited behind me.
“But, the hike sounded interesting and I decided to enjoy it alone.”
Yes, he was alone, that I could see, and carrying only a
daypack, just like the rest of us. He also has a very nice set of binoculars
hanging from his neck and a camera with a long lens hanging near his hip.
“May I borrow your binoculars? I’d love to get a closer
view of the wolf.”
As he hands them to me, I gasp. “They’re so light! Oh, my
– Leica. These must have cost a fortune!”
I train my eyes on the wolf, still watching us from
across the meadow. “The view is outstanding. It’s as if I’m standing next to
her, could touch her fur. Oh, those eyes – such a deep, piercing blue. Most
adult wolves eyes are gold not blue!”
“Would you like me to take a photo for you?”
“Oh, would you?” I know I sound too eager, but I notice his camera is also a Leica. This guy must be rich. Then I realize how dopey my
excitement must sound.
He’s already taking photos, not reacting to my words, so
I lift the binoculars to my eyes again, watch the wolf watching us.
Our enjoyment soon ends, however, as something startles
the wolf. “That was a quick disappearing act,” I say, disappointed.
“I know where the den is located.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I could show you.”
“Oh, but I’m with the group.” I gesture toward the top of
the hill, though don’t turn away from him. He shrugs his shoulders and nods his
head toward the hut. I spin around.
The area near the hut, where the group had been eating
lunch, now appears empty and I don’t hear any sounds. When did they depart?
Didn’t anyone notice I was missing? I had mentioned my intention to Marianne –
or did I? I remember I tried to, but she was chatting with the director and I
grew impatient, just left. So nobody knows I am gone.
“I think you are alone .. ?”
A statement, a question – I hesitate, still puzzled over
the group’s departure. Finally, I understand what he is asking.
“Tegan,” I said. “And you are?”
“Raoul.”
I sigh. “I suppose I should try to catch up with them.” I
say this but I have no idea where they are headed next. I’d failed to pick up
one of the maps at the start of the trip. because I’d arrived late. I just
figured we’d remain together. With this big of a group, I’d decided, not
everyone needed a map. I figured wrong.
“Or, you could stay with me. I could show you the den.”
I stare into those intense, blue eyes, hooked, my heart
beating fast, my gut sounding cautionary bells that I don’t want to hear.
Forcing my eyes away from his face, I glance toward the top of the hill, consider
again the discomfort in my gut and make my decision. “Okay. Show me the den.”
** ** **
two songs for Wolf
wisdom
gleaned from years
engaged with nature, hunts
haunt humans, sustain the wolf pack
offspring
across
moon-lit meadows,
tranquil air, howls resound
songs of joy, love, each note projects
promise