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Being
Mindfully Aware
We
all have pet peeves, those little annoyances that have a tendency to balloon
into something ready to sail around the world. I know I harbor a few that, try
as I might, cannot be suppressed without conscious awareness.
Awareness:
that's one of my themes for 2015. Mindful awareness--taking my awareness to a
deeper level, one where I connect consciously to what happens automatically
from my unconscious.
Over
time, I've developed the ability and practice of shrugging off most of those
little annoyances that come into my awareness. Perhaps a little bit of a huff
of black smoke appears, but this is harmless to others. Not so much for me.
When
I walk with mindful awareness through experiences that annoy me, I notice how
each triggers sludge development. This, in turn, invites the presence of
shadows and dissonance. Without mindful awareness, by the time I'm aware of
feeling disquiet, the source is long gone leaving me baffled by my situation.
The
key to inner harmony, it seems, rests in determining what makes some incident
annoying in the first place. Why is some action by some other person so
bothersome to me? And if what bothers me in others is a mirror of self, what
behavior of mine mimics what I'm seeing?
For
example, one of my pet peeves rises when others leave cabinet doors or drawers
open. Seems a low-effort task to close them after the item sought has been
removed. Or is it?
It
seems that way to me because I have lived well over fifty years with people who
demanded adherence to certain conventions. I learned that the best way to
maximize peace and minimize discomfort was to adhere to their perception of
perfection.
By
forcing my self into the expectations of others, I buried connections to what I
always wanted for me: freedom to breathe.
When
others do something that annoys me, what I feel is the whip others flung at me.
It's a variant of PTSD, mild in this type of situation, but still a variant of
PTSD. I'm reacting and not responding. I'm in automatic mode from an
unconscious perspective shaped, colored and tainted by others.
When
I take time to reflect on what annoys me, I remember that I also behave in ways that
annoy others, no matter how much I try to conform to all those rules and
restrictions others have demanded.
Then,
by stepping back, pausing, considering, I can be realistic. Every individual
comes to this day colored and shaped by a lifetime of experiences. They've
developed habits and behaviors that suit them just fine. I can't make them
change. I can voice my thoughts on what seems dangerous to me or unsanitary or
annoying. We can work on solutions and compromises.
In
the end, for some of these annoyances, my best path is gratitude for the life I
have and, with open doors and drawers - just shut them. Then smile.
